


where the fallen heart goes

by beelisburger



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Fluff, Handholding, M/M, alluka is done, boys being dumb
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-04
Updated: 2020-07-04
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:00:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25065790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beelisburger/pseuds/beelisburger
Summary: Holding your best friend's hand, after all that you have been going through, really shouldn't be hard. Yet somehow, Gon and Killua find themselves struggling with that.
Relationships: Gon Freecs/Killua Zoldyck
Comments: 6
Kudos: 120





	where the fallen heart goes

**Author's Note:**

> hello! :)  
> this is a very, very quick thing that i wrote to distract myself from exam season stress, i hope you'll like it!  
> title from: seventeen "舞い落ちる花びら (Fallin' Flower)"

_ ゆらり舞い _

_ 風のままに _

_ ゆらり舞い _

_ 落ちた心のたどり着く先は _

_ 今よりはまだ暖かいかな _

__

York Shin City was busy as usual. 

The sun warmed the swarming crowds, thousands of people hurrying past each other in every direction, giving the city its lively tone. 

In a small shop, just off the main roads, a shop assistant rushed between every isle, taking more clothes than it would be possible in her hands. On a booth, two boys sit next to one another, pointedly trying not to catch the other’s eyes. Their minds are focusing on similar things, except that none of them seems to be aware of that. 

Gon, eyes fixated on the ceiling, keeps thinking about how easy it would be to just stretch his fingers a little more and brush Killua’s hands with his. 

Killua, who instead is pointedly looking at his shoes, cannot stop wondering about how kissing Gon would feel like. 

Inside a stall in the changing room, Alluka is very close to lose all of her patience. 

“I’m really sorry to bother you,” she tells the poor shop assistant, who clearly deserves a raise she probably will not get. “But could you get me this skirt in a bigger size? My chaperones are absolutely useless today!”

They don’t even reply, busy as they are with their own thoughts. Alluka  _ could _ give them a little push in the right direction— it really isn’t hard to figure out what it’s worrying them. But they’re being dumb, and they don’t really deserve her help. Yet. 

As the shop assistant hands her another skirt, she wonders how long it’ll take Gon and her brother figure out whatever they have to figure out. 

In the boys' defense, neither of them really knew what to do. Neither had they had fulfilling interpersonal relationships of the sort. Everything about them tended to be more traumatic than not, and so they were both unsure how to proceed, tiptoeing around this one shiny, precious thing. 

It's not like they had never thought about it before. For Killua, thinking about kissing Gon had always been there, or at least it felt like so. And Gon, well. Gon was never known for doing much thinking, and so it never occurred to him until recently that maybe what he felt for Killua was not purely platonic. But since he had nothing to compare it to, he had always assumed friendship would simply feel like that. But as more and more people swarmed into his life, Gon realised that it was not only Killua who was special. What he felt for him was too. 

But things had felt different in the past few days. They had finally reunited after so long apart, and it felt difficult for both of them to fall back into their usual comfort. Not that it really showed: they were still laughing, still basking in the other’s presence. Gon would say something stupid, and Killua would scold him just before saying something even dumber. They would play like the kids they had never truly been, throwing Alluka in their weird adventures. But the vague sense of uneasiness remained. 

That night, Gon is restless. Trying to figure out what was going on between them is hard, and thinking had always made his brain combust. Deep inside, he knows that he’s lacking the courage to ask Killua what’s wrong. But he’s scared. He had always run straight onto his problems, but this time he can’t help himself but to stall. What if Killua told him that he didn’t want him there? What if Killua found out about the aching need to hold him close, and did not like that? Gon cannot stop thinking, and thinking, and thinking. 

Killua, in the next room, has fallen asleep. But not before some time spent looking at the ceiling and thinking “ _ Maybe Gon knows. Maybe I should leave _ ”. Next to him, Alluka peacefully sleeps. 

The day turns out to be insanely hot. Gon would probably walk around naked if he could, and Killua is somehow even paler than usual. They have to stop at a bar, before the poor boy faints again— Killua, Gon has learned, really did not know how to deal well with prolonged exposure to the sun, and he never fails to make fun of him because of this. As they sit at the table, cool drinks laying out in front of them, a couple walks by. They are holding hands, Gon immediately notices. Killua, instead, immediately notices how Gon notices. And that’s how he immediately catches on Gon’s faint blush. 

Alluka insist that they take a walk around the artificial lake in the park. She wants to see the glittery fishes, she says. Killua, with a furrowed brow, follows her a few steps behind, while Gon is matching his pace. As Alluka searches for the perfect spot to see the fishes, the boys chat about this and that, eyes darting everywhere but into each other’s. 

“Did you hear about Knuckle? He finally got a place big enough for all his dogs”, Gon mentions, as they walk by a patch of lilies of the valley. 

They end up talking about their time with Knuckle and Shoot, before going back to the NGL. For other people it was still a sort of taboo, but not between them. 

“I still remember all that stuff Knuckle explained to me! Well, I remember how much it made my head hurt. I still have no idea what he actually said”, Gon says, causing a giggle out of Killua. 

“Of course you don’t, you barely know your multiplication tables” Killua nudges at him, causing Gon to start sulking. It is not his fault it’s true. 

“What’s 4x4?” he teases again, as they walk by an archway. Next to them, Killua notices larkspur growing. 

It is then that Gon stops dead on his tracks, arms folded and lips pressed together. He looks at Killua, a question lurking behind his eyes. 

Killua doesn’t know what to expect, so he immediately thinks of the worst. 

“Hey, Killua—” Gon starts, voice serious for the first time in a while. 

Killua swallows hard, not daring to look away from his friend. Seconds seemed to pass like years, and he does not move. But then Gon smiles, and everything feels alright again. 

“Can I hold your hand?” 

Gon’s question makes him freeze, staring at the other boy with wide eyes.  _ What?  _

“Sure …?” Killua says, hand raising expectantly. Gon immediately holds it in his with such eagerness that caused both of them to smile. 

Their hands are warm, locked into each other. Gon stares at them, smile wide on his tanned face. 

“Thank, Killua.” 

“You’re welcome, Gon”. 

He gives Gon’s hand a little squeeze, and their smiles impossibly widens again. 

They only get distracted by Alluka’s voice, calling for them excitedly, as she finds the perfect glittery fishes she had been looking for. 

With long strides they go back to her hand in hand, and neither of them can stop thinking about the couple at the bar. 

They see Alluka pumping her firsts into the air as soon as she sees them, blushing but not even thinking about letting go of the other. Gon finds that he likes it, the feeling of Killua’s hand against his. Next to him, Killua doesn't really understand, but he won't ask any questions today. Today, he will enjoy the feeling of having Gon so close to him, bright as a sun and firm as an anchor. 

And they didn't even need Alluka's help— yet. 


End file.
